The Ballad of Psycho Cat

Come and listen to the story ’bout a psycho cat,

She’s grumpy and she’s mean and she’s gotten very fat.

Once upon a time she was small and she was sweet

Then the vet went and messed with the nerves in all her feet.

Paws, that is. Indoor pet. No more claws.

Well next thing you know she hisses and she spits,

Other cats and dogs can throw her into frenzied fits.

It’s hard to believe she can sometimes be quite tame,

The same cat that plays “Kill the Beanie Baby” game.

Ty, that is. Any will do. Birds are best.

Psycho Cat plays games that are really kinda cute,

Hand Under the Blanket is truly quite a hoot!

The shower curtain and bannister are two more ways to play,

And she’ll stay with whomever comes down sick that day.

Sleep, that is. On their bed. ‘Til they’re well.

Attacking Sara’s foot came as one great big surprise,

Joseph’s love is all that kept the kitty from a quick demise.

She’s older now and slower but she still can blow a fuse,

So anywhere near Psycho Cat be sure to wear your shoes.

Footwear, that is. Boots are good. Slippers too.